'I am Russian and Swiss. But I guess, fundamentally, I really don’t know where my home is.'
Victor is quick on his feet and has a remarkable ability to recite quotes from various authors, movies, and philosophers to illustrate his feelings and thoughts. He also puts in the effort to truly understand different cultures and traditions by watching movies from all around the globe [he constantly surprises me with his knowledge of Korean cinema]. And surely related to his aspiration to become a screenwriter, director, and actor, Victor is a wonderful story-teller, especially since he is equipped with a repertoire of accents he has honed through careful observation of others. He is purposeful and I feel that his thoughtfulness is well captured in the expansive responses he gave me for this interview. I excitedly welcome you to read on.
Where did you grow up? Which cultures do you identify with?
“Until I was four years old, I grew up in Moscow. And at the age of four, I was sent to boarding school in Switzerland. I grew up in this little school called La Garenne International School which only had about 180 students. It felt like a family. I spent five years there. And then I moved to a different school at 9 years old where I stayed until I graduated high school at 18 years old. And then I moved to Claremont McKenna in California for two years and this past year has been my first proper year where I was mainly living in Russia.”
Which country is ‘home’ to you currently?
“It’s a tricky question… It’s tricky in the sense that in Russian, we don’t have the word ‘home.’ Actually, even in French, we do not have the word ‘home' either. We only have the word ‘house’ in Russian and French. I think that the concept of home exists mainly in the English language. And as for me, I’ve always firmly called myself both Russian and Swiss. I became a naturalized citizen of Switzerland when I was 16.
But to be perfectly honest, the closest I feel to home is when I am traveling in a place I actually enjoy. I find home in travel. Home is both the new places that I visit that I enjoy being a part of even if it is just for a weekend and the familiar places like my mother’s apartment in Moscow or in both of my schools in Switzerland. I feel tremendously at home there at those two schools.
But it’s kind of sad, too, knowing that things will be different when I go back to visit the schools, which is rare anyways. I think Fitzgerald has a wonderful quote about this that goes something like: When you come back to a place where you’ve grown up, you realize that everything’s changed, but really nothing has changed, and it’s you who has changed. [Editor’s note: here is the verbatim quote by F. Scott Fitzgerald that Victor is referring to: 'It's a funny thing about comin' home. Looks the same, smells the same, feels the same. You'll realize what's changed is you.’]
I guess, fundamentally, I really don’t know where my home is.”
How do you answer the question: “Where are you from?” Does it depend on where you are?
“99% of the time I say I am Russian and Swiss. But depending on the situation, I will stress one part of my identity over the other. For instance, in Russia, they always ID you when you try to buy alcohol and sometimes when I don’t have my Russian passport with me, I just use my Swiss ID because it is much more convenient and I will say [Editor’s note: Victor proceeded to take on a heavy accent] ‘Yes, I am Swiss,’ and that just tends to make my life easier.”
What do people find most surprising about you?
“I think I have told you this story before but when I was at Claremont McKenna, a girl asked me ‘where are you from?’ so I told her, ‘Russia and Switzerland,’ and she looked so shocked and asked [Editor’s note: Victor spoke the following in a valley-girl accent], ‘Oh my god, how does that work? Were you, like, born on the border or something?’ And so I just sighed…”
What has been the most difficult part about being a third culture individual and how did you cope with that?
“In Russia, people get it when you explain your identity to them. People are quite pragmatic in Russia. But the term 'third culture' is foreign to them. So if you bring it up, they will understand it after you explain it. But people generally don’t care about you so it’s mostly your burden to bear. So that’s the difficulty I face in Russia.
On the other hand, in America, it’s about the cliques that form. It’s a very broad generalization, but from what I’ve noticed at CMC anyway, international kids and American kids all got along very well but I think that they mainly hung out separately. Friend groups were either made up of American students or made up of international students. Some cross-pollinated but that’s how I remember majority of groups being.
I think it’s because of the way people communicate. Again, this is a generalization, but I think there is some truth to it. In the U.S., people generally convey emotions. So for example, when they ask ‘How’s your day going?’ and you would say something like ‘I had breakfast but they didn’t have this at the breakfast that I wanted and I also wanted this but they didn’t have that, and then I heard the shocking news and then I got to school!” It’s an overflow of emotions.
But international students communicate by sharing information. It’s an informational transaction for them. So when you ask an international kid ‘How’s your day going?’ they will say something like ‘Well, I just went to the gym, I’m about to do some homework, and then I am going to meet up with a friend.’
In Russia, for example, people care more about the information. So if we were sitting right now at a cafe and we were talking, I’d ask you ‘How did you get here?’ to which you might say ‘Oh, I took the train.’ And then I’d ask, ‘How long did it take?’ or ‘How much did the ticket cost?’ People are very interested in specific information about your day. You kind of answer questions with straight facts. You wouldn’t say (as an American would) ‘oh, I really liked taking the train.’ I think that once you spend time in the U.S., you kind of learn how to do small talk that has emotion to it. So I think this extra step of picking up a subtle aspect of a culture is a difficulty.”
What advice do you have for other TCKs?
“If you arrive in a new place, it is very important to just listen. Pay attention to the way people talk and what they talk about. If you figure out what is important to them, you will be able to connect to them. You have to tailor the conversation to match the audience that you are speaking to. You have to be respectful. For some countries certain sports are important and for other countries drinking might be important. And if you start tuning into those details and start paying attention and being quite open, I think it will be very helpful. People are usually happy to tell you about their culture if you are a foreigner. You just have to be willing to learn.”
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